


Times Two

by BunnyBopper



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Clone Sex, Episode: s04e10 This Mortal Coil, M/M, McShep - Freeform, Oblivious John, POV John Sheppard, everyone should love themselves as much as rodney does, open-minded rodney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26717227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyBopper/pseuds/BunnyBopper
Summary: When the team encounter their Replicator clone counterparts, the only one not instantly put off is Rodney. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Rodney McKay/Rodney McKay
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	Times Two

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LogicGunn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogicGunn/gifts).



_"Humanity's about to benefit from one of the greatest living scientific minds...times two."_

_"Can you imagine?"_

John really didn't want to imagine. One Mckay was enough to deal with, let alone two. 

He squeezes his eyes shut tight for a moment, trying to clear the image of the pair still lingering in his mind. John had known what to expect before they walked into that tent, but it still hadn't prepared him for the sickening blow to the gut that seeing another version of himself was. And it wasn't even his first time. Meeting that John hadn't been a particularly pleasant experience either. Perhaps that explained why the tension still coursed through his body even after they'd declared the clones (or whatever they were) allies. Why he felt the need to keep Other John always in his line of sight. Why his gun never found its way fully back into its holster. He'd thought, at first, it was just him, but when he finally did tear his eyes away from...himself...John was somewhat reassured to see that both Teyla and Ronon looked equally wary of their clone counterparts. 

But Rodney? Not so much. He'd marched right over to Other Rodney without a care. The two of them were comparing uniforms and finishing each other's sentences within moments. John found it disturbing, to say the least. 

They just seemed so...so _comfortable_ with each other. John couldn't imagine being so at ease with himself. While the rest of his team were only just getting to grips with the situation, Rodney One and Rodney Two were already making plans to modify the Replicator technology. Words like 'reconfigure', 'adapt', and 'outputted' bounced back and forth between them. 

"It's not a problem. I'll just go back to Atlantis, and, uh, get what we need," Rodney had chirped. 

"I'll come with you!" Other Rodney had said, eagerly wagging a finger in the air. "There are some things I'd, uh, like your perspective on..." 

Rodney's chest swelled with a familiar pride. "Yes, well I imagine-" 

"This isn't really the time Mckay, ah...McKays," John had snapped. 

Both Rodneys turned to him, mirroring each other with their crossed arms and jutted hips. "We, unlike some people, are capable of multitasking," One of them had said. It worries John that he can't recall which. 

His less-than-jolly chat with Elizabeth deep in the woods of M34-227 was enough to momentarily distract him from their bizarre situation, but now they're back and there's no sign of either Rodney. Just his other self sitting, awkward and alone, within the makeshift tent the clones had hurriedly erected. 

"Where's Mckay?" John asks himself, harsher than he means to. 

Other John just raises his eyebrows and shrugs. _How should I know? Aren't you supposed to be the real deal?_ John imagines him saying. 

His irritation gives way to a cold grip of fear. Shouldn't they be back by now? Wouldn't two Mckays mean saving the day twice as fast?! He should have put up more of an objection to letting one of them loose on Atlantis. Perhaps they were a security threat, after all. 

"I'm gonna go check on them," John says, giving Elizabeth a stiff nod. 

"You do that," Other John replies, with a smile that looks, to John, like a sneer. 

*** 

Back on Atlantis, he finds both Rodneys deep in the labs, side by side and safely intact, tapping predictably away on a pair of keyboards. John's about to announce himself before asking them just what's taking so long when Rodney – his Rodney – lets out an excited yip. 

"And that," he says, hitting a few final keys with a flourish, "should be that! Now there's nothing to do but wait." 

"Very impressive work," says Other Rodney, "if I do say so myself!" His face breaks into that boyish grin John has grown so used to. "Now. Have you given any more thought to my...proposal?" 

Rodney's brow furrows and his smile quickly turns to a grimace of anxiety, but he's flushing too, unable to look himself in the eye for the first time, as far as John's aware. "You're right," he says. "It is a once in a lifetime opportunity...but what about the-" 

"It wouldn't take that long-," Other Rodney interrupts. 

"No, I - uh - I don't suppose it would..." 

"-and I think we've earned ourselves a little break." 

John stays quiet, half-concealed by the shadow of some large piece of whirring machinery. He knows he should tell them both to get a move on but Rodney's bashful stammering, the kind usually reserved for elegant queens or curvaceous women of science, has made him curious. Rodney's still isn't meeting Other Rodney's eye, instead, he's looking down at his shoes and wringing his hands the way John's seen him do when he's nervous countless times. Then both Rodneys speak at the same time. 

"So, uh, would you like to-" 

"I guess we could start by-" 

They both start to giggle and the mysterious tension between them eases. Other Rodney reaches over, and John expects his hand to move past Rodney, pull out some high-tech tablet full of complex equations the two of them can pore enthusiastically over, but it doesn't. Instead, Other Rodney's hand comes to rest on Actual Rodney's cheek, tracing its stubble for a moment before cupping it fully while the rest of him leans in to place a kiss full on his mouth. 

At first, John thinks Rodney is backing away, repulsed by his clone's advances. His gun is already trained on Other Rodney and he's about to shout a warning when the sound of the door whizzing shut, and the tell-tale click of its lock, makes his head spin around. When he looks back, Rodney is responding in kind, seeking out his own mouth with an unrestrained hunger. Not backing away then. Just retaining enough sense to scrabble behind him and seal the lab before rushing to indulge himself in...himself. 

And now John's trapped. Alerting them to his presence now would result in an experience so mortifying he doubted either one of them would ever live it down. _Just how far are they going to go anyway?!_ John wonders in a panic, unable to stop himself from watching the scene fast unfolding before him. As one Rodney strains his hips against the other's, John's mind instantly flashes back to a conversation he and the rest of his team had one night in the mess hall. 

*** 

"Seriously?! None of you?!" Rodney exclaimed, hands shooting up in the air. 

"Well, I must confess that I had not given the subject much thought," Teyla mused, taking an experimental sip from the can of beer Rodney had given her. 

"That's exactly what I'm asking you to do - right now!" 

John, already reaching for his second, said decisively: "None of us want to fuck our clone, McKay." He opened his can, its hiss punctuating his statement. 

"Says you. Ronon, you're a practical guy. Are you telling me you wouldn't-" 

"No," said Ronon, fixing Rodney with an unimpressed stare. 

"Come on! I mean, nobody knows you better than _you_ , right?" 

"None of us are quite as enamoured with ourselves as you are," John said, causing Teyla to smirk and Ronon to snigger into their respective drinks. 

Rodney's deep blue eyes disappeared into narrow slits as he glared in John's direction. "Oh ha, ha." 

"Plus, wouldn't that be...kinda...gay?" Ronon asked. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added, with a pointed look towards Rodney, "but I'm not. Therefore-" 

"It's not gay if it's you!" said Rodney, almost shouting in his exasperation. "It's more like...um..." 

"Masturbation?" Teyla offered helpfully. 

Rodney stiffened and placed his hands on the table, one on top of the other. "I mean...I wouldn't put it so blatantly myself but, yes." 

The three of them laughed openly then, with Rodney joining in not long after. As John remembers, it was the start of a pretty good night. 

*** 

John hadn't taken it seriously at the time, but now that Rodney has found himself in the exact situation, he seems more than willing to put his money where his mouth is, so to speak. In fact, John is trying – and failing – to direct his attention anywhere other than Rodney's mouth, which is currently caressing Other Rodney's neck and making him purr with pleasure. 

Rodney's always done his best to appear confident, so much so that it spills over into full-blown arrogance more often than not, but, scratch the surface, and what you find is a man so plagued with self-doubt, so insanely self-conscious, it's was a wonder he isn't crippled by it. But right now, all of that has disappeared. 

Whatever nerves either of them had around the other are long gone: every grunt, groan or muttered curse comes out free and unrestrained. There is a level of comfort between them only seen in the strongest of relationships, the kind of couples who have been together forever. No. It's even more than that. Each of them truly knows the other inside out, deeply and utterly. Knows every petty, destructive or downright depraved urge the other has ever had. Has scrutinised every deficit, judged every flaw, criticised every failing, and still, somehow, has so much love left for the other. John's jealously is insurmountable. 

So, too, is his arousal. It's begun to get more than a little hot under the collar of his uniform, that's feeling more and more restrictive by the moment. Self-judgement is coming in hard and fast. He tells himself this is wrong, wrong, wrong. He wouldn't stand here, mouth agape, watching Rodney get it on with some girl – or even another guy for that matter – so why was he unable to tear himself away from...this? And why is it making his dick so fucking hard already? 

Then Other Rodney is on his knees and suddenly morality is the last thing on John's mind. Rodney hastily unbuckles his standard-issue trousers and shoves them unceremoniously down. No need to waste time getting naked - it's nothing either of them hasn't seen a hundred times already. He watches Rodney look up at himself as he wraps his mouth around his own cock and ease down on it slowly, teasingly. He watches Rodney look down at himself as he grips the desk behind him, narrowly avoiding its many buttons, and sighs a blissful sigh. John isn't sure which sight excites him more. Which position he'd rather be in. 

_Which position you'd rather-?! This is one of your team!_ \- the voice of reason is back - _It's a complete betrayal of trust! More than that this is RODNEY! World's Most Irritating Scientist? Remember?_

It's undeniably Rodney. Rodney's head moving rhythmically back and forth, eyes closed, fully focused on the pleasure he's giving. Rodney's hand placed firmly on the back of that head, guiding that it further down with each thrust of his hips. Rodney's voice filling the room as his moans become deeper and more desperate the closer he gets. 

John doesn't mean to come. One moment he's palming himself through his uniform, momentarily giving in to the need for friction, the next he's clamping his mouth shut in a vain attempt to stifle his groan, and struggling to remain upright as his knees buckle out from under him. Thankfully, Rodney doesn't seem to have heard as he, too, has grown shamelessly loud as he reaches his own shuddering climax courtesy of Other Rodney's obliging mouth. 

*** 

Then, with almost comical timing, a steading beeping starts up from one of the monitors. John can't help but be impressed by the way both Rodneys snap right back into professional mode, once one has adjusted his belt and the other has wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. 

Rodney rushes over to glance at it. "Remodification complete!" 

"Excellent!" Other Rodney beams. He's a little pink in the face, but other than that there's no clue as to what just transpired between them. 

"We better get this back down to M34-227. Running the program here would attract too much attention," Rodney says apologetically. 

"Of course. Raincheck?" Other Rodney asks. 

Rodney smiles. "Of course." 

*** 

But there would be no raincheck. John, having never been more thankful for his extensive military training, managed to stay safely out of sight as the Rodneys made their way out of the lab and down to the 'gate. He was thankful, again, when his radio waited until the door snicked shut behind them before going off. Although the panic coming over in Teyla's voice quickly squashed any gratitude he had back down. 

"The Replicators. They're here!" 

*** 

"He's really gotten into a funk. I'm not sure what else to do." 

Radek drags both hands through his wispy hair in frustration. It's left sticking out at strange angles and makes him look more like an eccentric scientist than ever. John's mind instantly conjures up a picture of Doc Brown. _How's the time machine coming, Doc? We could sure use one yesterday._

"Perhaps _you_ could try talking to him?" Radak asks, wide-eyed and hopeful behind his thick glasses. 

"Ah, I'm not sure what good it'd do," John says, rubbing the back of his neck. Talk to Rodney? He's barely been able to make eye contact with the man. 

"Please." Radak puts a hand on John's shoulder. "He could really use his friends around him." 

He finds Rodney in the lab. The very one John's been avoiding ever since they got back to Atlantis. Ever since they...died. 

"Hey buddy," he says, trying hard to sound casual and therefore not sounding casual at all. 

Rodney looks up from his work, makes a small noise that could pass for a greeting, then goes right back to his computer. He's tapping furiously at his keyboard as if he's hoping to unlock the secrets of the universe. Well, ok, he probably is – but it's not going to happen without proper rest and rehydration. 

"How's it going?" 

_Tap, tap, tap._

"It's alright." 

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Why don't you call it a night?" 

"No. I, uh, I want to finish this. What about you? Isn't it past your bedtime?" 

_Tap a de tap, tap._

"I approve the removal of her personal items tomorrow." 

_Tap._

Rodney looks at him, finally. 

"Have everything shipped back to Earth," John continues. "I would have done it sooner, but I actually thought we were going to...bring her back." 

"Yeah. Me, too." 

"Let me know when you get this thing working." He claps Rodney on the shoulder and turns to leave but stops as Rodney speaks again. 

"It's like...it's like losing Elizabeth all over again and I just..." 

"I know, buddy." 

"And we didn't just lose her – we lost us! I don't understand how you, Teyla and Ronon can be so..." Rodney flails his hands in the air, words apparently lost to him as well. John would joke about marking the occasion on the calendar, declaring a holiday for the whole of Atlantis, but even he knows now is not the time. 

"Well...you were closer to...you...than the rest of us." 

"I, uh, what?" Rodney's whole body goes rigid with feigned nonchalance. "What do you mean by-" 

"I just meant you two spent the most time together, that's all." 

"Oh, I see, yes." 

"Not like us. We went out our way to avoid ourselves," John laughs but the sound of it is hollow and harsh. 

"Why?" Rodney stands up. His face is the very picture of earnest. "I mean, I know the circumstance under which they were...created was, um, less than ideal, but they were still us! With all our memories, all our-our thoughts!" 

"Therein lies the problem." 

Rodney moves in closer to John, peers into his face. "You hate yourself that much?" 

"I don't _hate_ myself, Rodney," says John, shifting uncomfortably under such intense scrutiny. "There's just...parts of myself I'd rather avoid getting too close to." 

Rodney steps back. "Well...I wish you wouldn't." 

Something takes John over then. Maybe it's his need to comfort Rodney winning out over everything else. Maybe it's his own self beaming down from another dimension, forcing him into action. To stop being such a goddamn tool. Or maybe he's just reached the point where he can't run from this anymore. Who can say? 

At first, Rodney doesn't respond at all when John places his mouth on his. He's either stunned by the shock of it or John's just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. But then he's returning the kiss with even more passion – and even more love – than John saw him show himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. It's just where my mind goes whenever clones are involved. Anyway, happy early birthday LogicGunn!


End file.
